The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

A deeper, more holistic form of romantic attraction that extends beyond physical appearance or superficial traits to include admiration for a person’s character, their spiritual maturity, and the person they are becoming in light of God’s work in their life. The Kellers argue that while culture often prioritizes instant chemistry and external qualities, biblical wisdom encourages singles to look for signs of long-term compatibility rooted in shared faith, mission, and character growth. Comprehensive attraction, therefore, is about being drawn to the person God is shaping them into and recognizing a shared commitment to spiritual transformation. This term is central to the book’s broader message that marriage is not about self-fulfillment through physical or emotional gratification but about serving and growing with one another toward holiness.

The deep personal growth that occurs when men and women learn from each other’s distinct ways of thinking, communicating, and perceiving the world. While this concept is often experienced within the intimate context of marriage, the Kellers emphasize that it can also happen within strong Christian communities where men and women engage in honest, spiritually grounded relationships. The idea is that because men and women are created with different strengths and tendencies, their interactions—when marked by mutual respect and love—can refine, challenge, and enrich one another.